Saturday, December 29, 2012

Stormdoor Angle Fetish (You Had Your Chance 2)

First... watch the promo, then watch the full video, and then get a copy on dvd before they're all gone. HURRY SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED!!! Also if  you call in the next 10 minuets we'll throw in a free Hurrycane for when you blow out your knees riding a little kids bike. That's a $420.00 value for only 500 pennies.
 "RIP Nick An AJ
filmed and edited by everyone on TeamSAF
dvds with a bunch more stuff for 5$ email"
T shirt prototype? The angles are off...
 Sometimes I go to make a post and find an old post draft that someone else made, or the left over bits of a post that was deleted. Daphellopifa left this almost post behind and I took the liberty of resurecting it to allow everyone to study the nature of Cellas (or Stormdoors) and in hopes that Hello el Piffa will come back and finish the thought
 "team shaf you may wonder, what is a cellar? ,are theyer guidelines, rules and requirements for what is to be considered a cellar? yes these questions are significant and they must be answered with precision certitude so that we dont fuck up. ok so here are the guidelines: a cellar is not a garbage can. however if the can is rather a metal pale and is leaned against something, giving it an inclination, then yes it may be a cellar. a cellar is not a computer. unless the computer is diamond and eatan off of, then yes it may be auspicious . a cellar is not a girl. but if the girl is ..."

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Fat Bald Men

Last spring and summer I got stoked on dirt and trails again.  I used to ride these dirt jumps in this kids backyard when I was younger and then rode the trails in Paramus, they had a cool name but I forget what it was.  Obviously I wasn't very good, I just had fun trying to get through an entire set.  If I was lucky I would have enough air time to click an x-up.  One time Dolecki took a picture of me doing an x-up and I was so siked but I never saw the picture.  Anyway, last spring I decided to start building at this spot in Closter, NJ, where apparently there were legit trails there way back in the day.  Since I was 13 there's only been worn out piles of dirt there.   So when I was only able to ride on weekdays when there was nobody to ride with and nowhere to go without getting kicked out, I just bought a shovel and started digging.  I wanted to make the jumps perfectly sculpted like the ones you see in magazines but I didn't have the time or patience for that and I didn't have long term plans for the place, so I just piled up branches and threw a lot of dirt over them.  I have no idea if that's how most people build trails but it worked for me.  Gathering big sticks from the woods took forever and I ended up getting some wild poison ivy all over my body and it lasted for two weeks.  I even had to go to jury duty in Hackensack and I was like "Oh my fucking god I'm so fucking itchy drop the case drop the case!"  They settled without a jury so I didn't have to send anybody to jail for the sake of going home real quick and bathing in cortizone.  Anyway, when I needed to throw dirt over the pile of sticks, I had to dig a foot deep to find clay like soil.  I was getting into this show called American Diggers, so I was trying to dig really deep in one spot hoping I would find something cool.  I ended up digging this one hole that was almost 5 feet deep and big enough to drop a dead body in.  One time when I was in the hole, this old hippie looking guy came into the woods with a group of ten hot high school girls.  We just stared at each other from far away and I could tell we were both thinking "what the fuck are you doing here?"  Well they started clearing sticks and stuff and were building walking trails.  Probably for a community service project or something.  I thought it was pretty cool that we were both there to build trails.  I smiled and waved to the good looking girls and they seemed stoked that I was sweaty without a shirt on.  I ended up spending a lot of time in the woods trying to build a sweet set of trails.  I would listen to Lucero and imagine that I rode for FBM and had mad homies with me sitting around a fire with a couple of dogs or something.  I ended up completing a tight bump jump/roller thing that was really tricky to get through, a low and mellow jump with a 7 foot gap, and a jump that launched the hell out of you into a big landing that would send you into this berm that I never actually got right.  I would wear a helmet and peddle fast as hell through the first two jumps and then blast a moto-whip on the big jump.  I felt so badass.  One day I came to the trails to see that the first jump got messed up by some kid with mountain bike tires.  I was worn out and lacked the motivation to keep them going so I just gave up right then and there.  I don't have any pictures of them on my computer but once I can get a scanner I'll upload some that I have. Below are some old pics of me riding the jumps that I used to ride.

Anyway, this was really long and I'm just going to get to the point.  FBM posted this on the internet the other day and it's like the best thing ever made.

Thousand Yard Stare Full Video. from FBM BMX on Vimeo.

God I'm Sorry

Some Cellaphone Joints

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Nic Gironda

...aka PhencyclidineCranium has some crazy ass videos up. He just put out a little You Had Your Chance 2 promo AND that Hoder/Jose edit that you've all already seen on TheCumUp
and then you have the trailer for the DSB dvd which will surely be Nic's Pièce de résistance.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Here's some old saf pictures I would like to share
Evan in Englehood
 Sean T in Wackensack
 Sada in New York Shitty
 Marc in Slayerville
 Carter in Gotham City
Mike D in Wisconsin

Btw my name is Pete Schwab and Evan said I can post my shit on this blog so here it is.

Chinatown Trotters

 CT is finally out, and has been for a few weeks now. Teague hooked it up big time giving out a bunch of copys. If you dont have one go to Animal to pick one up
Scotty Eaton has the first part, so many grinds...
..then Carter shines pretty hard..
..and Sean (sprocket over from SAF Mixtape, to give an idea of how long this has been in production)
Gollup Has Pegs
Marks part is pretty damn burly
TEAGUE threading needles (Mark [with a "c"] had a good theory, Teague really enjoys doing tricks with "T"s... Tbogs, Tooth Hangers, Truck Drivers?)
MIKE ROSE IS A GOD DAMN MANIAC! And its funny how underrated he is right now. All I can think now is how good his part is the next Chinatown production will be. Too Hot To Trot
in other news... SeanT is now a weatherman

Friday, December 14, 2012

Street Phire

So pumped the #1 bmx website is back up, StreetPhire
...seent these two videos on the site

used to watch this on repeat, everything by Joe Cox is gold
too many grinds

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

ch 4

the dinner of the elders.

evan awoke, twenty five minutes to 8 oclock, polyestern time.  He looked at his hands; kangaroo hands.  he looked at his feet, kangarro feet.  He looked in a mirror, and saw his kangaroo face.  He asked questions like whats the history? whats the date?

lost in highlee concentrated bewilderment, zownedd out, like on some other plane? brahhhap!  However,(shattering sound) evan was startled, when he noticed a man with no eyebrows sitting right next to him.

Ahh! sir please confirm that tu eres of the noblest and not of those schedual type permalinks.
Evan, compose yourself. me llamo pokadotted sandle. (in native tongue cellardorian, this literally means, "the man with no eyebrows)
sup bra, ya knoe whats going on tonite?
yes evan, I am only here to inform u of a mandatory dinner you are to attend.
no doubt! hella good, when is it doc?
303030:::::444 oclock, make sure you adhere to the proper attire, sucker.

evan was sudeeenly ashamed.  and at thirty three: twelve evan showed up to the ball room.  He was feeling a lil shat! because on his way over, it started raining and it messed up his hair, which he had highlighted and spiked with gel.

upon entering the mess hall, he saw lavish excitement, almost straying from it out of intimidation.  to evans suprise the bodily forms of the elders were of the feminine nature.  speaking by not speaking.  one of the elders flew over to evan and sexually molested him.
 evan was like, "why!!! noo!!!" and evan began to cry like a little baby, and all the elders giggled, hehehehehehe.
evan cried and cried, until he could not cry no more.  then the elder snapped her fingers.
suddenly evan was enlightened. (bing!)
The elder stopped molesting evan and to the cognitive psychologist's surprise, evan started to molest himself, smiling like a zany kay bee toyes employee.
the elders all looked at one another and were amazed! (collective Whaaaa!!)
tha fa shung(the most wise) elder invited evan to sit down at the table.

tha fa shung pointed at the fork on the napkin, sang a short melody.  Tha fa shung licked her left index fingernail, and then bit her right pinky slightly. tha fa shung made a fish face and then made a fart sound with her right armpit.

The reverence toward tha fa shung was turned over toward evan.  to see if he had understood.  evan took his right pointer finger and stuck it in his left ear.  he stuck his tongue out to his righthand side. and looked up with his eyes.
Tha fa shung returned the gesture, which signified "agreement".  all of the elders then made the gesture.

servants brought out food,  evans previous body, honey roasted.
non-magical fairys broughtout wine, fermented earwax, 14%.

capitulelo tres
yo su sueno hizo beans get spilt
nha u know the bodega puerta es mas "cold as the rockies"
wor wor world of the wars
ye ye macadamia.

 -this is how the members of the cellardoor revival communicated. to a civilian this conversation went along the lines of hi, how are you, my name is, etc. but this esoteric language, art form, was a means conveying a message to be interpreted by the interpreter. so when evan gallegar heard this message, he swiftly fondled his scraps and escaped out of the jail that the sickopsycho bourgeoisie, had him contained in for 4 hundred and ten years.

evan managed to escape by using sum chewing gum and a swans feather. he tickled his way to a location where he found himself. he collapesed on the ground because he was really tired.

luckily the gods were generrous to the poor soul, succumb to the plastic parkinglot. they approached him, and then reproached him, like a beached whale. evan drempt that he was getting fanned by ferns, the sound of birds, and furry women in the native Australian plains.

they took him, and put him in the back of their thunder vehicle. to the infirmary, they rushed him to! remember, in this era the cellas were scarce, so that it was only until they had rushed him to the infirmary that the entire universe almost fell out of order.

they took evans brain out of his body, and put it into the body of a kangaroo, because it was the only body that was compatible.

Monday, December 10, 2012

William Spencer at the Berrics

New William Spencer footage is the best as always, using a backpack to pop your ollie... GOD DAMN
OG pull up bars are so sick
via MARC MEEUWISSEN... the most Seinfeld steeze since Skavenger

Sunday, December 9, 2012


Penn and Teller... you god damn Libertarians
Toooooooooooooooooooooooooo much brown acid