When Evan woke up he was in an empty gym locker room. He had no shoes on and he couldn’t tell if what he was stepping on was pee or if it was water. All he could find was a wet white tee shirt, so he rapped that around his foot; it felt glutinous. He was looking for a mirror because he believed that if he looked in a mirror he would snap out of it and escape the cold teal tile of the locker room. He felt crazy because he couldn't relate anything with anyone and everything. Alone and distressed he started to whimper and fart as if he had to hide the sound from someone. at the same time.
There was no one alive on team saf besides for evan because everyone on teamsaf had changed. Most of the teamsaf members became addicted to the powerful drug "wackshiff" and became so dumb that Evan had to kick them off. The only surviving members of teamsaf were the Ohio affiliates because they are straight edge. However They left saf because they realized that Evan wasn’t even that cool. Evan realized that he lost his ambition.
"Agh I'm so unmotivated to do sum shit. Maybe it's because I haven't seen a cella in soo long."
He kept his cool and let himself think of which direction to move.
However before he could decide what to do, agents came in and hit him over the head with a mallet. Evan tries to bandage his gushing head with his fingers but the men in beige and shinny shoes grab him by the dick and the nose, demanding to know about the underground cellar door revival.
"heey hey! I don't know what your talking about!"
"Sure shure cowboy. sure u don’t u fuck!"
The bro wacked Evan with the mallet right in the knee, just to be a douche.
One of the pigs grabs him by the curls and spits in his face.
"we know ur involved with this shit, they dropped a nuclear bomb, with your face on it, on the mitt romney memorial"
Evan thought to himself, "daym. They really did that, awesome. I wish I weren't such a coward and declined to join the cellar door revival Years ago when they nominated me as one fifteenth of their democratic group. Honestly I thought the world was gonna end and it wasn’t gonna be worth it but whateves.."
And while he was thinking they injected him with an extremely strong drug and threw him into a computer jail cell.