Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The State of New Jersey vs. Me

Who will be victorious???

New high score!

So me and Danbo went out tonight on the bicycles for a little fun... I guess we knocked down seven garbage cans or so? (That's what the piggy’s claim ) Some dick-hole on Madison Ave. got all mad and called the cops. We then were intercepted over on Washington Ave. I thought I should turn around and ride in the direction we came from as fast as possible to escape but I stopped instead because I wasn't sure if Danny was willing to run from the cops on the bikes.

The first cop who pulled us over asks if we knocked down any garbage cans, I said "Yes, I did it all." As we're beginning to talk, another squad car pulls up behind us with two more oinkers inside... The second cop gets up to us and says, sit down. I ask if I can sit on my bike and he snaps back at me, "NO! Sit on the floor!" As I'm sitting on the curb he looks at me as the third cop joins them, the second cop says to me with a grin on his face, "Man, I'd really like to punch you in the face right now."
I laughed and said, "I can see where your coming from... I mean, I did knock over all those cans." This made him more angry, he snapped at me again, "How would you feel if we through trash though your windows?!"
"Well... I probably wouldn't care to much." I said back, not trying to be a wise-guy. Just being honest.
"How old are you?!" He yelled at me.
"Twenty-one" I responded,
"And what do you do?"
"Nothing much..." I said back with a chuckle. There was a bit of commotion between the three cops as I suppose they were figuring out how many charges they could stick me with.
"I hope you like your tickets." One of them said to me. Now they were all standing around the second cars driver side door having a little pow-wow.
"I guess, it's probably for the best. I'll have to get a job now." I said to whoever was still listening to me. The third cop now became extremely angry and yelled at me from outside the car, "Have you ever spent the night in jail?!"
"No... I guess tonight's the night." I replied, I don't think any of them heard me though... that was probably for the best.
The cops walked away for a second to continue their conversation, I looked at Danny and laughed a little. The third officer returned and began yelling at me again.
"Yeah you're enjoying this?! You think this is funny?! Just wait and see how much you'll be paying! Just wait and see how much!" I didn't really have anything to say, so I continued to smile at him, which only drove the hypothetical sand deeper into his vagina. ("-090ii098I mean, you gotta get paid.")m,n

At this point they told Danbo to get up and follow them behind the second cop car, he sat on the curb in front of the third car which I hadn't noticed arrive. They began questioning Danny and pointing a flashlight in his face, later he told me they were questioning him if we smoked any weed. They also asked him, "Do your parents like this kid?"

Apparently the tickets are up to 500$ each...

Then we were escorted back to Erie Street by the second cop car with the two very angry officers. I had to pick up all the garbage cans we knocked over... then we tried to cop a dime and with no luck in that department we resorted to scraping the pipes.

All in all... I would like to thank the brave officers of the law who put their lives on the line every day to keep the dangerous suburban streets of Dumont free from kids smoking pot, or drinking, or knocking over recycling cans.

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