Monday, January 21, 2013

my extended vacation part 1

Last winter I spent a few months living in a jungle in a remote part of the Big Island of Hawaii.  I stayed at a yoga retreat center and worked 5 days a week cooking awesome food for beautiful people.  Every night after work I would sit naked in a hot tub with middle aged gay men.  It was the best experience of my life.
The name of the district of Hawaii where I was is called Puna.  It's nothing like the Hawaii people think of.  There's no white sand beaches, overpriced surf lessons, those pig roasts with grass skirts and mai tais, no japanese tourists loading up on designer clothing that's too expensive in tokyo, and there's no judgement.  Everybody in Puna is a complete misfit to normal society so they all congregate in the shittiest place furthest away from the mainland so they can be total freaks without feeling like they are being judged.  It makes perfect sense that its right next to the most active volcano in the world and could be destroyed by lava any day.  You gotta have that dgaf attitude or else you'll get bummed when it down pours on you every half an hour.
Before I left jersey I went to bed bath and beyond and bought a 20 dollar camera so I could take some cool pictures. So here they are.

This was my first time on an airplane.  It was a long trip and I didn't know movies cost extra money.

This was where I lived.  I couldn't stand up straight in it but it was the coziest little tent.

There was a Christmas parade in the little village of Pahoa.

George the Baker was really nice and baked me a cake for my birthday.

This is the beach I would go to.  It was clothing optional, not legally though, and by my second week there I was hanging out naked.  Apparently it's the deadliest beach in Hawaii because the waves are wild and crash right on the shore, which is really rocky.  It's really tricky to enter the ocean without getting knocked on your ass and even harder to get out.  You gotta have the right timing.  One time I stayed in the water for an hour because I was too bitch to make a move and try to get out.  Sometimes tourists come and don't know what they're doing and they get pretty messed up.  The locals would have drum circles on sundays and everyone would just be chilling and smoking weed.  There was this lady that would walk around with a baby on one arm sucking on her boob and a cooler in the other arm trying to sell her home made ganja ice cream.

I borrowed a bike that barely worked and explored the coast.

On new years eve someone busted out the body paint and I ended up with a kool aid man and what I think is supposed to be a jelly fish. The guy I'm with is named Jym, but for some reason we would call him Jay Why Em.  He has a stick and poke tattoo on his arm that says Seduce & Destroy.

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