good thing carter, darian, nic, and myself rode 4 pegs before we realized we should hide our goofyfootedness, we coulda ended up like our boy in this pic...
carter in 2007
darian in 07
nic in 07
my dumbass in 2007
...nvm we did
Friday, August 31, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
frequently dusted
unfortunately these members of team saf were put in front of a firing squad. they all survived to icepick unwaxed ledges another day
street riding is getting too mainstream
protection against homophobes
out of commision for right now
dont let your kids breathe exhaust, just get them dusted
team saf is going on megatour 89
foreshadowing.... next day carter tore his hand apart while we were trying to get dusted in a treacherous area in yonkers
but we also get dusted in the most beautiful places
drunk russian guy in the bodega claims his wife took this photo, others claim it was in the new york times. shooter on 34th street laid the fuck out
fire department installed a hydrant in kevs apartment due to frequent pcp related fires
dust makes you crave some weird ass shit
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
chapter 2
When Evan woke up he was in an empty gym locker room. He had no shoes on and he couldn’t tell if what he was stepping on was pee or if it was water. All he could find was a wet white tee shirt, so he rapped that around his foot; it felt glutinous. He was looking for a mirror because he believed that if he looked in a mirror he would snap out of it and escape the cold teal tile of the locker room. He felt crazy because he couldn't relate anything with anyone and everything. Alone and distressed he started to whimper and fart as if he had to hide the sound from someone. at the same time.
There was no one alive on team saf besides for evan because everyone on teamsaf had changed. Most of the teamsaf members became addicted to the powerful drug "wackshiff" and became so dumb that Evan had to kick them off. The only surviving members of teamsaf were the Ohio affiliates because they are straight edge. However They left saf because they realized that Evan wasn’t even that cool. Evan realized that he lost his ambition.
"Agh I'm so unmotivated to do sum shit. Maybe it's because I haven't seen a cella in soo long."
He kept his cool and let himself think of which direction to move.
However before he could decide what to do, agents came in and hit him over the head with a mallet. Evan tries to bandage his gushing head with his fingers but the men in beige and shinny shoes grab him by the dick and the nose, demanding to know about the underground cellar door revival.
"heey hey! I don't know what your talking about!"
"Sure shure cowboy. sure u don’t u fuck!"
The bro wacked Evan with the mallet right in the knee, just to be a douche.
"ahhwee!"
One of the pigs grabs him by the curls and spits in his face.
"we know ur involved with this shit, they dropped a nuclear bomb, with your face on it, on the mitt romney memorial"
Evan thought to himself, "daym. They really did that, awesome. I wish I weren't such a coward and declined to join the cellar door revival Years ago when they nominated me as one fifteenth of their democratic group. Honestly I thought the world was gonna end and it wasn’t gonna be worth it but whateves.."
And while he was thinking they injected him with an extremely strong drug and threw him into a computer jail cell.
Chapter 1
In the year 2050 New Jersey and New York are entirely
flat. It was part of Mayor
Georgina Bloomberg’s Mountain Shave Act of 2028. There are no banks. Architectural laws have been enacted
that prohibit the construction of any diagonal planes. People are only allowed
to move up and down, and left and right because space has become limited due to
over population. Additionally, because of drastic changes in climate, the outside world has become uninhabitable. Everyone on the east coast lives in Freedom
Tower, which is an enormous structure that spans from Cape May to White Plains
to Bridgeport. Everywhere else is
decimated. Artificial sunlight
heats the people and is controlled by the tower’s operator, Walt Disney, who
suffers severe brain trauma. All
food is synthesized from the recycled materials of our waste. All water is absorbed through pores we
have developed due to extreme humidity.
There is a constant mist in the air to hydrate the people, because the
people have forgotten how to swallow liquid. When people want to get drunk they have to spray themselves
with liquor. The operator
constantly monitors the tower using audio and video recording devices which have
become oppressively sophisticated. Everyone is aware of every action and word that occurs so that
everyone is confused by the echoes of the past. Moments of clarity are only experienced by the chosen one,
Evan Gallagher. No one can
perceive anything because it is like everyone is always high on crack. Newport and Exxon partnered up and now
make slow burning cigarettes, slow burning male and female enhancement
cigarettes, and long burning eye drops. People have also evolved smoking holes
in their left armpits so that smoke can go directly into their lungs. Every girl looks like an Eskimo and
every boy looks like Barbra Streisand, except for Evan Gallagher.
Evan Gallagher, sort of a brute, is the only surviving team
Saf member. All he does is talk
about You Had Your Chance 2 and Odvd, which he claims will drop around 2055, vehemently
to anyone who listens. His
cavernous eyes, fatigued by many monotonous badwitits are bloodshot because
he just smoked paper. Straight paper
is the only remaining organic source of smoke known to exist. He just smoked a rolled up page of
enders game because he realized that book is stupid. The police are about to come; he shouldn't have smoked paper. Evan begins to smoke a newport to cover the smell. However, with pain in his brain and thoughts about to arise,
he collapses on his aspirations and falls back into a dream, his lips quivering
“safyo cellas” as he doses off into piss water.
THUNDERKILL Video on Vimeo... Someday?
top secret...
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